How do you handle stress?

How do you handle stress?

In the past, I had a lot of unhealthy ways of handling stress. Probably because I am just generally an anxious person so I am constantly feeling some level of stress. But I try to focus now on what I’m feeling, why, and how i’m dealing with it. It’s hard – because I want to escape the stress but sometimes it’s necessary in life.

Today I am stressed. There’s no particular reason, I just feel anxious. It’s actually almost a crime to feel so anxious on such a good hair day (day 4 wash and go. Look at this! Like, hello!)

But really, I feel super behind on things for my business, on blog content, on housework… on LIFE.

Honestly, I know in reality I’m no further behind that I always am.. but it doesn’t feel that way. I feel stressed and kind of trapped.

To avoid dropping back into unhealthy habits – for stress relief – I plan. I believe that I have stress because there is an issue I need to solve. Today my issue is I spend a lot of time worrying about what I’m not getting done – instead of getting it done. My time could be better used getting something done. I’ve recently started planning for my business and it has made me feel 1,000x better – but I dont’ do the same for my home/mom life.

In order to maximize my planner I went out (after being encouraged by Shay at http://www.shaybudgets.com) and got some stickers. This should help me get more into each space and also just make things prettier.

I also plan on, instead of leaving the center block of my planner blank, planning activities for LB and I. Along with not just making – but sticking to our weekly meal plan.

Starting out this planning already has me feeling so much less anxious. I know it’s not for everyone, and some of my friends think I’m crazy – but it’s what works for me.

What works for you?

Hair color

Alright finallyyyy have my hair to the color I wanted. Before (first pic) was just the first step.

I was in Charleston and needed to have the color finished up (for my own sanity) so of course i went to Kara Fuller (Charleston WV) and told her “idk what I want. Here’s some pics of what I like. Here’s what I don’t like”. And she went in.

I’m no professional so take this with a grain of salt but it looked to me like she did heavy foil highlights in the front, less in the back and then some random highlights throughout without foils. She feathered in the color to make the transition look more natural. Then I sat under the IR light for 15 mins and she rinsed and toned. That’s it.

Whole process from start to finish took like 1.5 hours. To do ANYTHING to my hair in that little time is a miracle. I set it in twists after the color and unleashed last night because I couldn’t wait.

Color is exactly what I wanted with so much depth and dimension and not orange anymore lol. And my curls don’t seem damaged from either process – though it always seems a little drier the next day so I will do a deep conditioning mask tonight before I set it again (because I took down damp twists last night so this set won’t last long)

Alright, I should be done stressing yal out for a bit. Maybe. I mean I still use sulfate shampoos and ecostyler gel so you never know what ima do. Clearly I’m a rebel.

Flat twist out

In other lost files – here is my flat twist out video. It debuted my new hair color which you may or may not have seen yet if you don’t follow me on ig (@Tarra.Yvette).

It was my genetics?

My parents and grandparents are/were diabetic (type 2) and I was diagnosed as prediabetic at 24 with an A1C of 6.0. And a lot of people I knew and healthcare professionals told me it was because I was genetically predisposed to diabetes.

They didn’t ask about my diet or lack of activity. I sat at a desk all day for work, didn’t work out, and ate fast food at least 3x a week. I love carbs and sweets too. I was depressed. We moved, had 2 mortgages and I was always alone with just LB.

So I ate and layed around.

See here’s the thing about what I was told. It took all of the pressure and responsibility off of me and blamed my genetics. It made me feel like I was just dealt a poor hand. I mean, plenty of people had a worse diet than me and were NOT prediabetic.

It’s really a crazy way that we as a society look at things. Lets say I drove 95 on the interstate every single day (trust me living in Kentucky a lot of people do). And my parents had both lost their legs in car wrecks (God forbid). and then one day I wrecked and broke both legs and may have to amputate. Am I genetically predisposed to losing my legs? To car wrecks?

Why not? It’s the same logic – plenty of people drive 95 and don’t wreck and lose their legs.

See how stupid that sounds? I wasn’t predisposed to diabetes anymore than I’d be predisposed to a car wreck. The people who weren’t affected like I was are like the people who didn’t wreck – THEY’RE LUCKY. Favored. Blessed. Whatever term you want to use. They’re the exception. I’m the rule.

One day I finally got up off my butt and worked out. I changed my diet. And crazy how my A1C went down to 5.5, no longer prediabetic.

I’m no doctor and I can only speak for myself. But the only thing wrong with me was my habits, not my genetics. My genes control a lot of things – my gender, my skin color, my fabulous hair, my body shape, my big teeth.. I could go on and on. But they were not going to make me diabetic. I was going to make me diabetic.

And if you’re like I was, before you check your genetics – check your habits.

Natural Hair Growth

I hear it all the time. “My hair isn’t growing!” “How do you get your hair to grow so fast?” “I hope I can get my hair that long one day”

Listen, in my opinion, there’s a huge problem in the natural hair community. And that issue is that we spend however much money being a product junkie buying the finest, most organic, natural ingredients. I mean standing in the product aisle READING THE BACK OF ISH (this is me too so i ain’t mad at ya).

And then we pull up at McDonalds for a McDouble and fries.

Continue reading “Natural Hair Growth”

I Quit my Job to be a WAHM

From the first second I held my son in my arms I knew I’d never love my job again.

I had a “good” situation in America. I took off 12 weeks after my c section. And then I started paying someone (someone amazing) to raise my beautiful son. I have a chemistry degree and I knew it was time to leave the lab (career ceiling without going for a PhD, chemicals all in my aura while pregnant). I loved the lab, and then I loved regulatory.

And then i held my son. I’m dramatic af. And I’m not judging moms who aren’t as crazy or weren’t depressed over going to work. It just wasn’t for me.

But I was the bread winner. I started my career in pharma in 2012 after earning a bachelors in chemistry. I’ve always had a salary and benefits and done well. Our family has benefited for sure. We have had some rough patches but all and all for a family our size at our age we have done well.

I thought I couldn’t quit and be home with LB. So I went back to work. And I cried. And I tried. And I hated everything about it.

When he was about 10 months old I decided my time at my first company was done. We relocated back to my hubbys old town and I found a new job – still in pharma. Yal, I was bomb at this job. Customer facing and I basically managed the quality end of around 14 companies products manufactured at the site. I started to gain some confidence. And I decided to extend that to working on me – so I started Beachbody.

I lost the weight I needed to lose.

I took charge of my health and became a coach. And you know what I discovered?

I’m good at a lot of things other than chemistry and pharma. I’m a good motivator. I’m encouraging. I make a way out of no way.

I’m good.

I started to think “maybe I could make this my full time?” I set a goal for end of 2018. And around August – I got scared.

I got another job offer from a local company. It was more money, more opportunities… I was on the fence for awhile but I took it.

I started right before the leadership retreat in October. And I learned something at that retreat.

Those women there who are now home with their kids while they work – they’re just like me. They’re not cut from a different cloth and they don’t have super powers. They just believed in themselves and put the work in.

So I did the same. I busted my butt. At the same time – bae had just gotten his career back on track (that’s a story for another day but lay down with dogs and get fleas). We ran the budget a zillion times.

And it worked.

So after freaking out for 4 months – i did it. I have prayed, I have cried, i have talked to countless friends about it, I have wondered if I was crazy. But I feel at peace now.

Here we are taught this idea that we should spend 13 straight years in school, then get a 4 year degree, then work for a major corporation until death. And I’ve done it and I was successful financially. But I wasn’t happy. I wanted to be home with my son. I wanted to enjoy my whole life – not just Saturday and Sunday. I am tireddddd of selling hours away from my son for $35 a pop. And i don’t have to.

Here’s a secret – you can really actually do anything you want. Just set your mind to it and GO.

Of course there will be changes. I won’t be making both incomes anymore, just 1. But I am excited to see how my business flourishes with more time to focus on growing into the person and mother I want to be. I feel like always pushing towards my “assigned goals” that society nudged me towards stunted my growth as a woman. I’m excited to explore who I am while living a life by design.

So it’s a risk and it’s new and it’s scary but I’m doing it. I couldn’t do any of this without first of all God (of course). Close second is hubby – who finally recognized how bomb Beachbody has been for me and actually is the one who suggested I finally dive in.

I also have to give a shout out to every single person who supports my dreams (this includes my 3400+ followers – Yal are the BEST and i love yal so much), my extended family (especially my sister) And of course my beautiful supportive sponsor coach Maria (and hers, Misti) and each and every wonderful woman who has given me the chance to help them along their path to a better version of them. Omg I love yal. I can’t hardly believe this.

I lived someone else’s American dream my entire life.

Now I’m going to go live mine ✌🏾

TL:DR – I quit my job to be a Beachbody coach full time.

BTW – I’d love for you to join me.

if you feel anything like I felt, let’s talk about if coaching could be for you. OR something else even. What’s your dream?

Tarra.Yvette@gmail.com 😘

I Trimmed My Ends

Alright guys – I know yal hadn’t told me – yal be tryna be nice. But my ends were THROUGH. I have known for awhile bu t last time I did my hair, I couldn’t even unravel my twists without snagging at the end of everyone. Which creates frizz. Which makes me mad af. Day 1 of a twist out I usually have beautiful coiled end. Look at these:

Some of yal will say it looks fine. It didn’t Continue reading “I Trimmed My Ends”