Don’t play yourself.

I posted on social media today about my dislike for transformation Tuesday.

I don’t like it. I think we (including me) use it as an excuse to knock our former self and our current progress. I see women all the time with BOMB transformations who post basically ‘disclaimer’ captions. “I’m not where I want to be but…” “I know I’m not bikini ready but…” “I still have long to go but…”

Wtf yal. What if your significant other said that about you? What if you said that about them? Your kids?

You’d be an asshole.

But somehow we make it acceptable to be an asshole to ourselves. And it ain’t cool.

I feel like it’s part of this mentality that we have as a society where we are always waiting on the next thing to be happy. Let me tell you how it goes for most of us.

I’ll be happy when:

  • I hit graduate high school
  • I get my own car
  • I graduate college
  • I land a job
  • I find a boyfriend/girlfriend
  • I buy a house
  • I get married
  • I have kids
  • I ‘snapback’
  • I get a promotion
  • I make more money
  • I buy a larger house
  • I get a new car
  • The kids get potty trained
  • The kids get into school
  • When we can afford the trip to ____
  • The kids graduate and we have an empty nest
  • When it’s Friday
  • When we have grand kids
  • When we can retire

Before you flipping know it you’ll be dead and never took time to love yourself or your life. I’m TIRED of waiting for the next thing to be happy. I know life is going to have phases and they’ll be exciting but I don’t want to wish this one away. I don’t want to wish this body away. And I’m sad I wished away a lot of my past.

My body after I had LB was fluffy. I was bigger than I’d ever been and I didn’t take care of myself. I ate junk, I was prediabetic and I felt bad. BUT – I had great boobs and I looked good. I was cute. I woulda holla’d at me.

After I lost the weight I weaned and lost the boobs and any other curve I had. I was skinny. I wasn’t eating properly (undereating a bit). But – I looked good. I was cute. I had abs. I felt good. I woulda holla’d at me.

Last winter when I upped my calories and started lifting, I lost my abs. I ended up gaining 20 lbs in my bulk. I had a nice little booty for someone with my build. I looked bomb in my clothes> i was cute. I woulda holla’d at me.

And now, a year later I am behind on my bulk. I still have my abs, I haven’t upped my calories as much yet. I caught myself being diasppointed for a second. Then I remembered – I’M STILL CUTE. I look great. I have a better body than I’ve ever had. I would holla at me.

dude. Just enjoy the body you have. It’s goign to keep changing whether you like it or not, so may as well love it in every stage. And while we’re talking about it – love your life at every phase too! Before you wake up one day and realize you’ve wasted 50 years of your life waiting on __________ to be happy.

I don’t want that. I want to be happy now.

So I am.

Author: tarrayvette

Just looking for a place to be unapologetically me

2 thoughts on “Don’t play yourself.”

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