I’m an emotional eater.
And by that I don’t mean “when I’m sad I eat”. I mean, when I’m sad, happy, excited, stressed, angry – any hightened emotion I want to eat. I use to celebrate with whole pizzas. And cry into pints of ice cream. From childhood I remember sitting under a beach towel at the beach eating a whole package of wafer cookies.
As long as I can remember I’ve had this problem- just nobody knew because prior to having LB, I was small and healthy despite of the damage I had done. Yal, I smash food. My stomach is a bottomless pit and my metabolism can mostly keep up.
Why did I gain 20-30 lbs when we moved? Because I was basically binging our 2-3 times a week in complete misery. Crying into a plate or box. It wasn’t baby weight. It was “my life got twisted upside down” weight. Which turned into “ok, your blood work is back and it looks like you’re prediabetic. Did you know that?” weight.
I was alone. Brian worked all the time and LB was very young. I needed a friend. Food was my friend.
But because I eat when I’m happy or excited too – I have GOOD feelings associated with my binges. Not just sad times.
I feel like food makes me happy. Food cements memories in my life so that I don’t lose them. And yes I have curved that some just by saying no to the urge more often or making healthier choices. But I’d like to learn other ways to feel. In fact – sometimes I think over indulging in food prevents me from feeling. Protects me from the extremes.
So thanks to a suggestion from my teammate Maria, I am learning to feel.
In this group I will show my flaws – because I have many. And I will struggle. And I will probably hurt. And I will share things that may change your opinion of me, but I am praying through this experience I can heal. I am hoping by the end of this, I can turn to God instead of food. For the first time in my life.
If you struggle like I do – i am starting up a faith based challenge group on 10/23 focused on the devotional Made to Crave. For 60 days we will work through not only meal plans and workout programs – but this beautiful devotional. For people like me.
If you’d like to stop filling voids in your life with food instead of faith, you should join me. I’m ready to take 4 others on this journey with me. Not 5, like usual. Because 1 spot is already held by me.
For more info or to join, fill out this form.
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